Q: How does it feel to be turning 51?
A: I look at photos in magazines and newspapers of men and women my age – and they look so old. I don’t feel old when I’m busy, but when I stop my world for a moment I realize I’m collateral damage and my pain, impervious to medicine; however, I’m a work in progress – and let’s face it: I love myself. I’m my biggest fan.
Q: Are you content with where you are today?
A: Most of the time I am angry, angry at god whatever that means, and I am depressed but it’s not because of what you or he or she thinks. In 1998 just before my forty-second birthday I was the victim of a terribly violent crime. I was beat up bad. I had a gun, figuratively-speaking, put to my head. As I result, I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress and for awhile my mental composition changed. At the time my father was dieing and I thought god had orchestrated this transgression against me, to get me through my father’s death. I was in so much pain, my eyes should have been hemorrhaging. That was my holocaust. I woke up to the fact that there are people all around me who have no unwillingness to send others, including me, to the crematoriums simply because they can.
Q: Where do you want to be in ten years?
A: I want to live somewhere where I am surrounded by beauty in nature and beautiful architecture and it’s quiet and safe and there is a lot of cool, clean water and my psyche isn’t assaulted by distractions and I can devote myself to things and people that warrant my devotion. I want a garden, a small orchard and I want animals and I hope Eddie will be happy there.
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