desert view, the cove, la quinta, california

sunny palm springs, late september 2007

more snapshots of a palm springs holiday

Before there was the U.S. lottery, there was the Irish Sweepstakes benefitting Irish hospitals. I remember in the 1960s my father sitting at a table with Irish Sweepstakes Tickets spread out before him as he used to buy and sell them - and even once won what probably seemed at the time a small fortune on the sweepstakes - and I remember how I appreciated the aesthetic value of the them - the texture of the paper, the beautiful, unusual dyes, the fonts and abudance of mysterious text - and to this day the memory of seeing my father handle them remains a quiet and wonderful, sensual memory of that time.

I had told Elaine I would go with her on Thursday to the eye appointment at Seton. Elaine told me yesterday it was Wednesday and was that a problem? I had told Riordan I would volunteer that day. I go two ways in my thinking. Stuff like this now stresses me out. Is mom more important and I will call Riordan or should I have Elaine change the appt. It is a routine appointment. Last night I decide to tell Elaine to change the appointment and this morning I decide mom's appointment is more important. Elaine told me she is going to Chicago on Friday and won't be back until Tuesday when mom has another doctor's appointment. I go home and see Keith laying on the couch and think he has none of these family obligations.
 
Kathleen's email from aberdeen to angela:
I am kind of scared renting a car here. The laws etc. are different. I told Eorl we should try and go away at least for the weekend. I want to explore the United Kingdom. Things I learned while being here already. U get assigned seating at the movie theather they love to stand in lines waiting for the bus and they enter and leave through the same door they love to talk really fast and it sounds like they have a bunch of spit buildup in their mouths the men here are very skinny and hunch over the girls wear tons and tons of makeup .. they are trying to look like they live in LA with all the taning shit they have all over their faces, but it looks horrible, they are orange and broke out all over their faces due to the acess makeupthe food here sucks shit everything is fried. fried fries, chicken, hamburgers, etc.oh and even the chinese here have scotish accents. (email from angela to john, august 28, 2007)

August 7, 2007, I went out for tapas and sangria in the Mission with Gerardo and spoke over two hours in broken Spanish. We finished-up the night at Café Flore at his suggestion where it was 2for1 margaritas night, and we sat on the sidewalk on a relatively warm evening where he told me he wanted to broaden his circle of friends to people who loved the theater, vanguard film and café-life. I hadn’t been to Café Flore since Jim whose last name I forget had outted me to the previous owners as an inspector for the city agency that licenses food and drink establishments – and they suddenly wanted to give me free coffee. I was just a little drunk when I arrived home – and I told Eddie how overwhelmed I was at work and Eddie reminded me not to jump every time someone wanted something – and he used the word “deflect” to suggest a better approach to dealing with work and people. A few days prior I returned from an excursion north to Chico which contrary to its reputation is not a town but a city with 1,000 charming cottages set among oak and black walnut trees, and surprisingly nothing else deserving of praise except for its hot weather which I found agreeable. Its downtown, adjacent to the university, is dull and surprisingly without even a taqueria. Outside of Chico is a non-pedestrian-friendly resort area, and I use the word resort loosely, of Paradise which isn’t paradise but a small hill crowded with pine trees, small homes, bible schools, gun dealers and restaurants serving lousy Mexican food. Needless to say, I was glad to get back to San Francisco where Eddie suggested we take an excursion to the California desert. So we have planned a week in Palm Springs which does feel like a town – a real resort town - full of trashy people who probably drink too much, but ah, that desert sun, makes everything one does appear to be so life-sustaining, ha.

san francisco has the lofty ideal held by the intelligentsia across the country that this is a bastion of philosophical, intellectual, and progressive thought. Any transgression by our government that impinges on our democracy and its ideals will surely be addressed by this city's engaged and informed activists, right? Wrong. I have come to realize that there really is nothing going on in this city as far as socio-political consciousness. If you take time to search for political groups, book discussions, current events forums and meetings, lectures, and other intellectual meetings, you'll find the usual distractions and indulgences that you'd find in any other city. Their are plenty of groups and activities centered around small businesses, investing, real estate, relationships, gaming, movies, and all of the other subjects which basically have the common category of diversion. We have large expos on how to become wealthy in our convention centers. Starbucks is filled with people all trying to further their careers, get their next degree, and mostly - engaging in IT. Yes IT that ubuiquitous social medium which exemplifies consumerism to its highest potential. People salivate over the next gadget, the next accessory, and then put it to use in one of their 300 text messages or e-mails throughout their self edifying social network with purposes of maintaining their poplularity and connectedness which satiates their self appraisal of worth and belonging. They feel compelled to know the latest on Paris, Lindsey, and Britney and then strive to know the real Brad Pitt and David Beckham. Show after show after show contrived by the corporate owned media networks serve our whetted appetite for sex, drama, conflict, and illustrations of what image is desirable and in need of emulation. Meanwhile we are no longer living in a democracy. A democracy is a government for the people by the people and every man is created equal. This government does not represent in any way shape or form what the people want and as we sit distracted, the greatest diffusion of wealth to a burgeoning aristocracy is happening before our very eyes. Yes, one would look to San Francisco for help - but no, not any longer. The 1500 dollar rents and million dollar homes have pushed all enlightenment to the periphery. Now we wake up on a day to day basis and simply battle for self accumulation and comfort and equate liberty and freedom with the ability to consume the latest material du jour. right now i-pod, something else next month. We are a nation of addicts and San Francisco is probably one of the shining monuments to this age of ignorance and philistinism. There's no progressivism going on here..the only thing this city is progressing towards is cosmopolitan plutocracy. (anonymous, july 26, 2007)

To slow down was advice I was given recently by the Injury Clinic Dr - to stop multi-tasking. Returned from Ireland to return to the job after the weekend and just like before I went on the trip just too much to do. Maybe mom told you, before coming here to work I was on a roll running in every direction getting this and that done and quite pleased with myself (like there was no tomorrow) when I tumbled over a full laundry basket. I was on my way out with plastic bags to drop off at the supermarket for recycling after work, turn off the washer before I left as I felt I overloaded and carrying too much which blinded the basket at the bottom of the stairs. I was carrying also a hot travelling mug w/tea which spilled all over and more on my left hand. When I tumbled my face banged on a hard surface. I instantly looked like someone beat the hell out of me. Whatever about my face, I couldn't understand why my hand was so sore never thinking I burned it. I went off to Kaiser to the Injury Clinic and got the same doctor I saw last year when I broke my ankle in June and fell out of the raft in Tahoe (remember when mom came with us). Doctor wanted to know who beat and burned me. Don't know if she ever believed the truth. I just so happened to have a retirement appt. that same afternoon and I went to it. I got a ticket from a cop on my way to West Portal for not stopping at a stop sign. Not a good day! Guess I told you all that because we do tend to stress ourselves out and it's not a good thing. I too have high blood pressure/cholesteral and take medicines for both. I exercise and eat right - must be in the genes. Mom is a worry but we have to take care of ourselves also. Went to Holy Cross with her on Saturday and it's just not easy with her. The hearing aids she has should have been returned long ago and just to move her from A to Z is difficult. Mom was a very healthy lady until she was 80. You should never feel, John, that you need to spend as much time w/her as you do if it stresses you. Perhaps quality time rather than quantity. You have been so good but an hour's visit is okay too - don't feel you need to spend the Saturday night and Sundays also. You work all week and the weekend is all you have. I know my weekends are so precious. Do you take medicine for the blood pressure and cholesteral? I was going to go to Camp Mather w/Sheila and Angela for four days in August. Senior citizen four days - believe it or not I qualify having just turned 55. Kind of sad. Working for the school district, it's the week school resumes. I've been waiting for my bosses okay and she just told me I cannot have the days off. Guess I need to retire when I can. (email from mary to john, july 25, 2007)

I just got back from the River today and checked my emails and was glad to hear from you since Mary called me last night about your situation. I know mom tried your house today but I called her and told her you went to work. Why did you go to work today? You should of stayed home. What did Kaiser tell you? Did they give you any medicine to relieve the anxiety attacks. John, it seems to me you should rent a cabin out in the country and get some good books and just take care of yourself. I know that mom is always a constant worry in the back of our heads. It's always there - I know that and I also know it is affecting us all. Why did Sheila break down in tears at work? Why is Mary falling down the stairs? Why is Kathy afraid to call Mom and calls me to see how mom is? I do want you to know this. Though you think Mary is hard I know she called Kaiser several times last night asking about you and also this morning. She felt you had no family there and shouldn't be alone. (email from angela to john, july 24, 2007)

people in my neighborhood at an ice cream social on twentieth street, june 2007

who perpetrated a pre-emptive war against a nation that was not a threat, resulting in more than 3,000 american deaths - and still counting? who gives billion-dollar no-bid contracts to companies with whom he has ties (halliburton)? who holds thousands of stock options with the company that's profited most from the the war he started? who gave himself the power to selectively declassify documents and selectively leak them to reporters? who condones prisoner of war torture, disregarding article 17 of the geneva convention? who refuses to name the energy-industry executives who met with him behind closed doors to draft an energy policy? who quietly ordered the destruction of all records of visitors to the offical vice presidential house - right after the washington post sued for access to the logs? who's the unethical antithesis of what america should stand for? dick cheney. (sarah t. warner, sfdaily 6/25/07)

El Dia de Pride, me quede en casa por la mayor parte tocando la guitarra y tomando una siesta. Por la noche, eddie e yo fuimos a una restaurante italiana en la calle 18 donde sirven borage y speck and cosas asi. Despues vimos una pelicula con Lucille Ball que me gusto. El clima ahora es muy agradable y tengo ganas de pasar tiempo en una alberca. Desafortunamente, tengo que trabajar. (jah 6/25/2007)

My Dinner Party List

Jeffrey Hunter, Gwen Verdon, Gene Tierney, Jack Cole, Sidney Lumet, Shelley Winters, Eva, Zsa Zsa, Magda and Jolie, Frances Farmer, Bayard Rustin, Abigail Folgers, Albert Camus, (to be continued..)

Notes from May/June 2007: Alma brought in Lychee Fruit to the office one day, something with a skin like a komodo Dragon and a core of white sopping flesh. Carlos announced that he was leaving to go work for Stanford Medical Center. Krystal received her Masters Degree. Obaid informed me that the husband of his sister in Afghastan was killed last month in a suicide bombing when he went to the market. Late June we received word that Bill Gaffney had died. Kathy Jung returned from a conference in Boston which she attended with several other administrators only to tell me how they all got sloshed in the bar every evening. One evening I dined with Gerardo from Guanajuato, tapas and sangria, on la Calle de Valencia. Spain has castles and the influence of the Moors, Gerardo explained, telling what sets Mexico apart from Spain. He told me if he was to live in Spain, he would live in Avila. I thought to myself, that I want to create my own Avila here – and so I’ve been looking at California Spanish architecture – and of course it requires a swimming pool because, at last, the hot weather has arrived and I’m ready to get sopping wet. (jah 6/14/07)

O, starry night of good omen,
When drunkard mounted drunkard,
We whiled away the time in worship to the Devil,
With fervent faith,
Until the monks rang death’s bell and dawn,
And the young lad took off, dragging his delightful robe
Touched by my impure desire.
“Woe is me,” he said through his tears,
“You have torn away the dignity I had long treasured.”
“A lion saw a gazelle and lunged at it,” said I,
“Such are the vagaries of fate.” abu nuwas

I die of love for him, perfect in every way,
Lost in the strains of wafting music.
My eyes are fixed upon his delightful body
And I do not wonder at his beauty.
His waist is a sapling, his face a moon,
And loveliness rolls off his rosy cheek
I die of love for you, but keep this secret:
The tie that binds us is an unbreakable rope.
How much time did your creation take, O angel?
So what! All I want is to sing your praises. abu nuwas

O,